Don’t Let Collisions with your Colleagues Stall your Success
At work we do not always get to choose who we collaborate with. Sometimes, conflicts between colleagues can cause tension and stall productivity. Avoidance and creating distance might not be options when an assignment has a deadline. So, what do you do in those situations when you have a poor relationship with your colleague?
Be Respectful
Instead of reflecting negative energy or letting a grudge dictate your behavior, demonstrate respect towards the colleague in the following ways:
Be respectful with your tone and word choice
Lend a helpful hand
Listen to understand
Sociologist Tracey Brower explains that treating others with respect builds your credibility in the workplace.
Take a Self-inventory
Is it possible that you have mis-judged the colleague or created a narrative about the individual based on limited information or actions? Review the information you have and disaggregate the data to see if you created a problem or story that does not exist. Additionally, might you be the cause of the interpersonal strain? Did you allow stress to overwhelm you and react imprudently or harshly?
Adapt how you interact with the person of concern and tailor “your strategies to get the results you need.” Not only will you meet your goals, but you will also create a less stressful environment.
This is challenging. Most of us do not change who we are when we enter the workplace — yet, we still have to own our actions and ask ourselves: do I want to be part of the problem or the solution?
“Eye for Positives”
Adopt a new mantra: “Whatever your brain is looking for, your eyes will see. If you are looking for the positive, you’ll see it. And If you’re looking for the negative, you’ll see it. It’s a matter of what you choose to see,” offers Najwa Zebian. Identify the difficult colleague’s strengths and what they bring to the table and lean into their positive attributes for the goal at hand.
Lisa Stephenson also suggests approaching your colleague to brainstorm solutions for creating a better working relationship. Instead of pointing out your colleague’s negative actions, ask them, “What can I do to make our working relationship more productive?” Conceding opens up space for the other individual to identify where they too could help make the environment more positive.