How to Work Through Personal Conflict at Work
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Butting heads with a co-worker is never a great experience. Whether it’s a significant disagreement over a project, having totally different work styles that don’t click, or even just having incompatible personalities — having problems with co-workers can take a toll on your mental health and productivity at work. A research study revealed that employees on the receiving end of ill-mannered behaviors of their colleagues lose 63% of their work time thinking about the incident.
As for many people who work full time, one-third (or 90,000 hours) of their lives will be spent at their jobs. That’s a lot of time sharing an environment with people you’re not fond of!
Before coming to blows or putting in a two-weeks notice, use the following tips to learn how to work with difficult colleagues.
Try to Understand Them
Everyone has tough days. While some can keep their issues at bay, others may take it out on those that surround them. Seek to understand the person that is challenging to work with. Speak with someone that has known them for a long time. As a result, you may make an adjustment to how you approach working with them that mitigates the problem.
Speak with the Person
Sometimes people do not know that their behavior is having a negative impact on a team, or at the very least, no one has ever challenged them about it, which can sometimes allow the behavior to run especially rampant. Talking to the person directly can make a difference, even if slight. Try asking them: “Do you know that you rub some folks the wrong way by doing X. I don’t believe you intend to but why do you believe people are reacting this way to you?” The second part is very important, as sometimes people truly do not intend to do harm but are operating in the only way they know how. This approach helps to inform the person and hopefully sparks them to adjust their behavior.
Speak with your Manager or Supervisor
If you cannot converse with the person, it’s time to speak with the management team. Prepare for a meeting by having notes detailing the issues, a proposal for resolution, and questions you want to be answered by management. If you approach the situation professionally, you might be able to get a proper solution.
Seek Transfer to another Place in the Organization
If all else fails, and confrontation happens repeatedly, then it’s time to consider other opportunities. For example, ask your manager if you’re able to relocate to another job within the organization or see how you can limit the number of times you’ll need to interact with your colleague. However, if you feel extremely uncomfortable or unsafe working with this person and your manager isn’t able to accommodate you, it may be best to leave your job.
It Matters Who the Person is
Is the person at your job senior or junior to you in your organization? If they’re your senior and you think it will block progress in your day-to-day work you can:
Wait them out
Look for a transfer
Notify someone above them of the issue and get them on your side
Find a Stress Outlet
When you feel disrespected by someone, it’s easy to become very angry and want to retaliate against them. However, your work environment isn’t the best place to do so. Instead, find a way to take a break at your job to relieve stress. Most of us find better solutions to problems when we are not stressed out. Having a clear mind can help you find resolutions for a better relationship with your colleague like the ones listed above.